Today, Anne (Trail) and I have been married 14 years. I’m writing this the day before our anniversary and reflecting on the meaningfulness of our marriage and how it brought us to where we are today; traveling the country and having a grand time of it.
Each of our lives would be utterly different were we not married to one another. I think neither of us would end up living in an Airstream and traveling the country had we not met and not formed a life partnership. Anne has the desire to see the country, I have the gumption and imagination to make it happen. Without her, I’d probably not muster the will to do much of any traveling at all. Without me, she’d likely think such a dream was unattainable or too frightening. It is the mingling of our desires and abilities that make what we do possible.
I think anyone going into any marriage should keep this well in mind. Marriage will change both your lives forever. And it is not just the circumstances of having kids or being monogamous. It will be a mingling of your desires, ambitions, and abilities that will open many new doors and see you through them. And perhaps more importantly, you will have no idea exactly what those doors will be or where they will lead. Anyone thinking they have those things charted out and set in stone is in for a very rocky road, and likely a very rocky marriage.
I think that living on the road intensifies the interactive aspects of marriage. When you have a home base, you can go about fairly separate lives if that is your desire. You can have different circles of friends, hobbies, work, and other activities. When you live on the road local connections just aren’t as strong and the space you occupy together does not really have separate places. There is no man cave in a trailer. Anne and I spend nearly every waking moment in close proximity and nearly every experience we have is shared. I’m grateful it seems to suit us both very well. For us, the biggest downside is we don’t always have a lot to talk about beyond what we might have read recently.
We both learned long ago that getting our own way in marriage is not always good for us. Each brings to our partnership unique advantages. There are plenty of times when I’ve not wanted to go on some adventure or get out of bed early. Left to my own devices I’d snore the day away. But I know that if I do get up and go out on the adventures Anne has planned, I will see awesome things and sometimes have life changing experiences. Meanwhile, without me, Anne would likely be too afraid and uncertain to brave the open road and go places she has never been.
It is no secret that this give and take is crucial yet many either don’t comprehend it or refuse to accept it. If you have something that must be part of your life, it is essential your spouse accepts and supports it. Harmony and mutual joy have to come first over just getting what you want when you want it and how. You need to sometimes be happy purely because the person you love is happy. And it has to go both ways. Because of this, in 14 years we’ve never yelled at one another or spent a night alone due to anger.
All this is to say two things. Firstly, that I love my wife with all my heart and am forever grateful for her. Secondly, that to live full time in an RV intensifies the essence of what it is to be married which is both a challenge and a blessing for us both.